Do you live by the mantra that the most important meal of the day is breakfast? Or are you one of those candy bar and soda type morning people? We could tell you all day how important breakfast is for your overall productivity, wellbeing and attitude, but whatever. Breakfast that sucks is just as bad as no breakfast at all. At Handys we are not down with any kind of sucky breakfast, no matter where it is served. It is even more offensive to have to suffer through a miserable breakfast in you car because you only eat gas station food. It is time to stop, stop the self destructive cycle of crappy breakfast.
Fast Breakfasts That Suck
The Gas Station Burrito
When you are a young person, pretty much any breakfast will do, Cheese Puffs, orange soda, and Skittles, fuel the students of CSU and UNC year after year. But as we get older, the old plumbing can go into a full on revolt when challenged with a foot long piece of beef jerky. Take our advice, do it while you are young. Soon the urge to eat actual food for breakfast will take hold of you so where is the best place to get a fast breakfast in Fort Collins? The gas station of course. The early morning wonderland of rotating meats, donuts in a bullet proof glass enclosure, (some sort of safety measure no doubt) and the undeniable king of fuel stop gastronomy, the burrito. Now don’t get us wrong, we love a good breakfast burrito, after all the Handy was based on a burrito, but the gas station variety is a miserable excuse for the species. Now, depending on where you look, there are respectable, fresh burritos available, but chances are, sooner or later, a microwave will be involved. Save yourself – and your colon – from the damage that these bricks of shame can wreak on your digestive system.
How many times have you grabbed a granola bar on your way to the office or just on the way out the door? Granola/energy/compacted nut bars, have become almost their own food group. Millions of these bars are made by smashing dried stuff into a rectangular block of processed junk that is supposed to be good for you. Unfortunately, granola bars, for all of their touted healthiness, are nothing more than glorified candy bars. Of course, if you are running marathons or biking to Steamboat, you are not going to need energy bars. Regardless energy bars are fast and convenient and easily portable but for breakfast, eat something that is good for you and portable, like a Handy. Seriously, leave the granola bars to the professionals grinding up Horsetooth on their road bikes.
While most of us have a soft spot in our hearts for the donut, these blobs of sugar and lard are bound to leave you with a post-morning hangover. Donuts have this uncanny ability to reconstitute in your stomach leaving you bloated and tired. Being bloated and tired sucks, but not as bad as you feel about yourself after eating a donut. (Of course not all of us are blessed with a conscience and are blissfully able to fire down a dozen of chocolate glazed with bacon on top.) Donuts are like culinary roofies, when… you know, you roofie yourself. You feel bad about what you did but you have an idea you had fun, then the regret and shame begins in the early afternoon. Stay away from donuts, we don’t care if they are dipped in pink antacid, your gut and your self worth will thank you.
At Handys Restaurant we are on a mission to provide the hard working folks of Northern Colorado with the finest, fastest, and dare we say handiest, breakfast in the country. We envision the Handy to be a cornerstone of the non-sucking breakfast army that is slowly marching across the country. (It would be cool if we had a bus to spread the word.) What is a Handy you may ask? It is a modern marvel, crafted of only the freshest ingredients and exquisite fillings. Our Handys can either be ordered online or you can call us at (970) 344-4352. We can deliver your Handy to your office or wherever you like? Want to give your whole office Handys? Let us know and we can help you treat your coworkers to a superior breakfast that doesn’t suck. Don’t worry if you are a driver or don’t have an office, it is perfectly fine to have your Handy alone in your car. And don’t forget we have our own blend of coffee to go perfectly with your Handy, so what are you waiting for? Nothing is better than an early morning Handy, get yours today!